So, I think it is officially okay to say that Emily has got her groove back. Two dates underneath my belt and two more scheduled for this week, all with new people. I found that I don't blog or take to Twitter etc as much when things are going well. But this whole dating thing might just be too funny not to document.
I've decided to give Tinder a try. I was super hesitant for a while, having the impression that it was all young people trolling for sex. And while I am sure that's a thing, and no judgement here, been there, done that...it isn't exactly what I am looking to get out of my dating experience right now.
Things were pretty dull for a couple of weeks and then suddenly, last week, a few good prospects started rolling in.
Last Wednesday, I went out with "A." I was so excited. I found him attractive, he was musically talented, worked for a non profit, had a sense of humor etc....we met for a beer just before 10pm last Wednesday. A little later than I normally go for on a "school night" but I don't believe in wasting time, and it was the first time we could get together, him after a gig and I after rehearsal.
I got there just a little before him and found a table, he walked (swaggered?) in and I was pleased and found him just as attractive as his photos. The conversation went well, We covered some good topics, the kind of things you talk about when you're dating in your 30's, and I think we both talked an equal amount. He talked a little about playing music in the Middle East and I said, "It sounds like this was a kind of life changing event for you. What did you learn?" I had previously learned that he was divorced and he shared that he had discovered that wanted more out of life than just his music...i.e. he wanted kids. Fair. 37, divorced, the last of his name, that made anthropological sense.
I replied that I am not against children, but, at 33, I don't seem to have the same "ticking clock" that most women do my age.I also shared that I have some opinions on over population and adoption. Many important people in my life are adopted and I think, if I do choose to have children, it might be something to think about.
We talked a little more and then he apologized for being so tired, I'm pretty intuitive, so I was a little skeptical, but then again, we had met for beer at 10 pm after long days. We both paid for our own drinks, and walked out and had an awkward one armed hug goodbye with no talk about a second date.
I didn't want to read too much in to it, but again, I'm pretty empathetic. The next day, I broke the rule and texted him, saying 'I know I'm breaking the rules, but I enjoyed getting to know you and wondered if I am going to hear from you again? I'd rather know sooner rather than later."
And sure enough, my views on children were a"deal breaker" for him. I assured him that I wasn't against kids,but thought there should be a few other steps first, but it turns out that is not what he is looking for. He seems to be looking for someone who is anxious to have kids ASAP. My little sister said it was fair to want to meet someone who wanted me for my personality first and not my womb.
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