Today, on my day off, I decided to throw a message out in to Tinder Land, even though I have two other dates lined up for this week, and have a real hard time managing too many at once. At least, I think I do, it's been awhile.
I noticed that this guy and I had a Facebook friend in common, someone from my theatre life, and had a few other interesting things going on. We chatted and flirted a bit and, surprisingly, he invited me out for a drink this evening. I said yes. I would much rather say yes than spend weeks trying to keep an online conversation interesting.
This time, he got there before me, I walked in and again, thought he was pretty attractive. We found a table, got some beers and curds (Wisconsin!) and chatted and laughed. I giggled to myself a little that, upon closer inspection, his shirt was a bit wrinkly, but that seems to be what happens when men don't have a woman in their life.
I got twice as far as the last date. Two drinks! And this guy wasn't going to be having kids any time soon...biologically. He got that out of the way. We shared stories, and I laughed but couldn't quite decide if he was funny or a truly epic tool. But, I was laughing and enjoying myself, so I had to go for the former. He excused himself to the rest room once, and maybe I was too skeptical, but I noticed a little bit of nose rubbing when he came back. I once went on a date with a guy who did drugs in the bathroom at a comedy show. It was obvious afterwards. This reminded of that and I seriously laughed out loud at the ridiculousness of it. I don't think he caught on.
It could have just been allergies though. We got our bill. Split it. (Is this a thing with dating nowadays? I mean, I can pay my own way, but I like it when a gentleman at least offers!) He invited me over, I declined. He walked me to my car, said he had a good time and would like to do it again.Why the hell not.
I got some pretty...suggestive but respectful..texts messages later. Let's call them straightforward, and I can't lie, flattering. Dating in your 30's, so far, has been so much less BS than when I dated 10 years ago. I said that I was willing to see him again,that I thought we could have a lot fun together, but anything more remains to be seen. But that is what dating is for, right?
Monday, June 20, 2016
Emily Gets Her Groove Back..Part One "A: The Drummer"
So, I think it is officially okay to say that Emily has got her groove back. Two dates underneath my belt and two more scheduled for this week, all with new people. I found that I don't blog or take to Twitter etc as much when things are going well. But this whole dating thing might just be too funny not to document.
I've decided to give Tinder a try. I was super hesitant for a while, having the impression that it was all young people trolling for sex. And while I am sure that's a thing, and no judgement here, been there, done that...it isn't exactly what I am looking to get out of my dating experience right now.
Things were pretty dull for a couple of weeks and then suddenly, last week, a few good prospects started rolling in.
Last Wednesday, I went out with "A." I was so excited. I found him attractive, he was musically talented, worked for a non profit, had a sense of humor etc....we met for a beer just before 10pm last Wednesday. A little later than I normally go for on a "school night" but I don't believe in wasting time, and it was the first time we could get together, him after a gig and I after rehearsal.
I got there just a little before him and found a table, he walked (swaggered?) in and I was pleased and found him just as attractive as his photos. The conversation went well, We covered some good topics, the kind of things you talk about when you're dating in your 30's, and I think we both talked an equal amount. He talked a little about playing music in the Middle East and I said, "It sounds like this was a kind of life changing event for you. What did you learn?" I had previously learned that he was divorced and he shared that he had discovered that wanted more out of life than just his music...i.e. he wanted kids. Fair. 37, divorced, the last of his name, that made anthropological sense.
I replied that I am not against children, but, at 33, I don't seem to have the same "ticking clock" that most women do my age.I also shared that I have some opinions on over population and adoption. Many important people in my life are adopted and I think, if I do choose to have children, it might be something to think about.
We talked a little more and then he apologized for being so tired, I'm pretty intuitive, so I was a little skeptical, but then again, we had met for beer at 10 pm after long days. We both paid for our own drinks, and walked out and had an awkward one armed hug goodbye with no talk about a second date.
I didn't want to read too much in to it, but again, I'm pretty empathetic. The next day, I broke the rule and texted him, saying 'I know I'm breaking the rules, but I enjoyed getting to know you and wondered if I am going to hear from you again? I'd rather know sooner rather than later."
And sure enough, my views on children were a"deal breaker" for him. I assured him that I wasn't against kids,but thought there should be a few other steps first, but it turns out that is not what he is looking for. He seems to be looking for someone who is anxious to have kids ASAP. My little sister said it was fair to want to meet someone who wanted me for my personality first and not my womb.
I've decided to give Tinder a try. I was super hesitant for a while, having the impression that it was all young people trolling for sex. And while I am sure that's a thing, and no judgement here, been there, done that...it isn't exactly what I am looking to get out of my dating experience right now.
Things were pretty dull for a couple of weeks and then suddenly, last week, a few good prospects started rolling in.
Last Wednesday, I went out with "A." I was so excited. I found him attractive, he was musically talented, worked for a non profit, had a sense of humor etc....we met for a beer just before 10pm last Wednesday. A little later than I normally go for on a "school night" but I don't believe in wasting time, and it was the first time we could get together, him after a gig and I after rehearsal.
I got there just a little before him and found a table, he walked (swaggered?) in and I was pleased and found him just as attractive as his photos. The conversation went well, We covered some good topics, the kind of things you talk about when you're dating in your 30's, and I think we both talked an equal amount. He talked a little about playing music in the Middle East and I said, "It sounds like this was a kind of life changing event for you. What did you learn?" I had previously learned that he was divorced and he shared that he had discovered that wanted more out of life than just his music...i.e. he wanted kids. Fair. 37, divorced, the last of his name, that made anthropological sense.
I replied that I am not against children, but, at 33, I don't seem to have the same "ticking clock" that most women do my age.I also shared that I have some opinions on over population and adoption. Many important people in my life are adopted and I think, if I do choose to have children, it might be something to think about.
We talked a little more and then he apologized for being so tired, I'm pretty intuitive, so I was a little skeptical, but then again, we had met for beer at 10 pm after long days. We both paid for our own drinks, and walked out and had an awkward one armed hug goodbye with no talk about a second date.
I didn't want to read too much in to it, but again, I'm pretty empathetic. The next day, I broke the rule and texted him, saying 'I know I'm breaking the rules, but I enjoyed getting to know you and wondered if I am going to hear from you again? I'd rather know sooner rather than later."
And sure enough, my views on children were a"deal breaker" for him. I assured him that I wasn't against kids,but thought there should be a few other steps first, but it turns out that is not what he is looking for. He seems to be looking for someone who is anxious to have kids ASAP. My little sister said it was fair to want to meet someone who wanted me for my personality first and not my womb.
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